Death

I left one night
In search of Death,
Tired
Of waiting.
“To be a rock
And not to roll”,
Words without meaning,
I thought?
To be watched,
Prisoners in our own lives,
Shells, time and no time at all,
Save in anticipation.
I left, knife in hand
Exhausted faith
Steely resolve,
Fearless through terrorization.
What is it to grow old
And watch our pain
Live on
Through the fruits we bear?
To wait, for Love
For God, for Faith
To wait, and wait…
I wait no more.
With the comfort of a vagabond
I searched the cobbled streets
For proof of life…
To be.
When the cold steel
Pierced me, deep into my flesh
As the colour ran from me, even veins no more blue,
I saw what I came to see.
An irony then, comical even
That at such a moment
Comes the realisation, that once tasted
True love, is bittersweet.

By Haemophiliac…
finished 31/03/2009

I Self Obsess No More

What complaints, could I justify
Amongst those unable?
How could I present
Nights of solitude,
And long for love, before those
That cannot afford my wh*res?
Who of handsome features,
Strong limbs, and faculties intact
Could seek restitution
From our Maker?
Before the presence of love
Still feeling incomplete,
But unlike these wretches
I have my h*rlots.
Each night alone
Never by myself
The thirst somewhat satisfied
By muddy waters.
Whosoever should not see tears
Other than their own
Knows not the vile respite
Of dying guilt.
From this day forth
I shall embrace my solitude
For I have strength,
Poetry, beauty,
And these same wh*res
Who show me some purity.

By Haemophiliac
Finished 26/03/09

Eulogy for a Peasant

I long to eulogise
The man I saw
Filthy and unkempt, sitting
By the road today.
I wish to recite
Eloquent prose
In his defence, and the damnation
Of mankind.
But like God, I have no poetry
For the likes of him,
Beyond even
The mercy of worthless words.
No eulogy,
So that there may be some dignity in life,
As there will be none
In death.
Like all, I have nothing for such being
Save a glance, and a glance away
Before eyes should meet
And a person he become.
Amazing, that in a world overcrowding with life
Anyone should find themselves alone.
That life, who’s sustenance hinges on the life force of another
Should die of thirst in an ocean of souls.
Say nothing, see nothing, feel nothing,
The able willingly disabled,
Relinquishing all sensation,
Only so that like our Creator, we feel no shame.

By Haemophiliac...
...finished 25/03/09

I Wish You had Died

I wish you had died
For my own salvation,
For my faith, in Love
In God, in anything at all.
Nothing is so repulsive
As a faithless, purposeless being,
That exists by merely being,
And being, without love.
Left to recreate
Acts and plays, with wh*res
Who in turn are repulsed by me
And all my efforts to love.
What is in a woman,
Any woman,
Skin is skin,
Bones all brittle.
What more is lust,
Than a faithless man
Alone on a pew,
Reciting poems?
Show me some happiness,
Whilst you carry on living,
And I scour the rivers
For a woman, any woman.

By Haemophiliac.
Finished 23/03/09.